Secrets

“Secrets for living a happy and fulfilling life.”
Hmmm…I need to be with someone. I can’t be happy without being in a relationship. It says so right here. Being with someone would really fill this void.

“Secrets for winning over your crush.”
Okay so I need to be forward – but not too forward – about my feelings. While still playing hard to get. Hmm…that seems hard in itself but it must work. What else…

“The top beauty secrets.”
Does a cat eye work for my eye shape? What is my eye shape? Why does that cream cost so much money? I guess it must really work…goodbye developing wrinkles.

“The best kept secret for losing weight.”
No, that can’t be true? Well, my date is in 3 days so I better triple up on this secret.

“The secret to having a happy relationship.”
Wait, my boyfriend doesn’t surprise me every week with a piece of jewelry.
We don’t have any, well a lot, of cute and romantic beach pictures.
My friend seems a lot happier in her relationship – what am I doing wrong?”

“Secrets for mending a broken relationship.”
That’s not going to work – I am not in the wrong. Why aren’t they apologizing to me? No, I won’t regret this broken relationship. Why is it broken again?

“Secrets for managing stress and moving on.”
This is just too much. I’m lonely, worthless, and nobody wants to deal with me as a friend or significant other.

“The secret to being happy.”
Oh who cares anymore. I’m too abnormal to be happy, and too dysfunctional to be able to live by life’s secrets. Just leave me alone.

“The secret for living a long and fulfilling life.”
Understanding subjectivity.