Despair and Writing

“Piece of shit!” – THUNK – and then, “Sorry.” – the creaking noise an old door makes when it’s being open – At least, that’s the sound I imagine when I open my tablet back up after my motivation sort of side-steps the frustration I feel for how terribly this “innovative” piece of technology is working. Or not working. Back to my precious alter-reality.

There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind. I’m bored, in the least crass and all-encompassing respects of the word.
Well what can I do to interest you? How can I change the way you feel? How can I change?

I wish the keyboard’s communication with the inner workings of this square, flat tool would keep up with the speed of my fingers. And that’s not just a brag about how fast I can type.

Nothing, nothing, and I don’t want you to. I’ve changed. I need something different. I don’t know what, and I don’t know what it is I want. But I know what I don’t.
Well I wish you would explain this to me more clearly, it just doesn’t make any sense.
I wish I could too.

SERIOUSLY?! Please just work more smoothly – it’s so distracting. Don’t get me wrong, I would rather stay away from you and rely on my faithful notebooks and pencils. But here I have more guts to actually post and publish. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe you’re telling me I’m full of crap and should just start from square one and do something with my life that people [my family] will actually understand?

Despair. It truly is an unmistakable and overwhelming feeling – even though it may not show its true face at first. In dealing with technology; with feelings and more specifically love; and with life. Oh, and writing.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: